In The Pursuit of Happiness

In the Pursuit of Happiness

As the new year begins, I’ve found myself reflecting deeply on happiness. Over the past few years, I’ve done everything imaginable to chase it.

I bought clothes, thinking they would make me happy.
I hooked up with people, hoping that would make me happy.
I landed a well-paying job and thought, Surely, this will make me happy.
I even traveled to incredible places, convinced that happiness would be waiting for me there.

But at the end of each day, I would lie in bed, staring at the ceiling, and ask myself: What’s next? What’s the next thing in this endless pursuit of happiness?

The truth is, it was all a facade—a hoax, a story I told myself over and over again. None of it brought the lasting joy I craved.

So, what does bring happiness? How do you actually achieve it?

I’ve come to believe that happiness isn’t something you chase or find. It’s a byproduct of usefulness.

Think about it. Most of what we do—work, dinners out, drinks with friends, shopping, vacations—are just activities and experiences. They fill our time and may bring temporary enjoyment, but they don’t create anything lasting or meaningful. They don’t leave us with that deep sense of fulfillment.

What truly makes me happy is when I feel useful—when I create something that matters, something that others can use. It could be as simple as writing something that inspires, lending a hand to someone in need, or building a connection that brings value to someone’s life.

Recently, I came across a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson that perfectly captures this idea:

"The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well."

For years, I didn’t understand what this meant. But now, I do. The real question isn’t, What makes me happy? It’s, What am I doing to make a difference?

If you’re tired of chasing happiness like I was, start here. Small steps can lead to profound fulfillment. Here are some ideas:

• Call a friend and ask how you can help them.

• Take your mother or best friend to a spa and spend quality time together.

• Write about the lessons you’ve learned in life and share them.

• Help someone in need—a homeless person, a neighbor, or a stranger down on their luck.

• Start a new business or project that excites you.

• Invest time and energy in relationships that bring joy and meaning to your life.

Happiness isn’t out there waiting to be found. It grows when you create, contribute, and make a difference in the lives of others. This year, I’m embracing that truth—and I hope you will too.